Featuring: King, Amigone, Todd, Rainswept, Demblowski, Sklaren, Good, Sang-urai, Gethard, McNiff, Hines
DV Cam: Agent Rainswept
Causing a scene sometimes just involves putting on a damn good show. The Amazing Stuntmen strive to do just that. On Saturday, September 14 the Ohio based duo and their manager touched down in Washington Square Park to give New Yorkers a taste of their thrilling act.
The Amazing Stuntmen (Agents Gethard and Todd) picked a quiet corner of the park and began to warm up while their manager (Agent King) wrangled together a crowd. The stuntmen were decked out in green jump suits, head bands, and safety helmets.
Agent King addresses the crowd
King reached into his prop box and produced two pairs of scissors. He gave the crowd an up close look at them, “As you can see these are very real scissors with deadly sharp edges.” The stuntmen gave each other a hug, and exchanged a knowing glance of guarded confidence before hoisting the scissors over their head and running at top speed!
For their next stunt, stuntman Chris made an ugly face while stuntman Charlie prepared to slap him on the back. King announced, “Stuntman Chris is jeopardizing his physical appearance for the rest of his life. This man is willing to put his body in extreme danger for your entertainment.” Stuntman Charlie gave the slap and for one terrifying minute, Stuntman Chris was unable to un-stick his face! He motioned for Stuntman Charlie to slap him in the face in a desperate last ditch move. Stuntman Charlie complied, slapping him with full force across the cheek, and amazingly, the plan worked! His face returned to normal as Agent King shouted with joy, “He’s OK!”
Stuntman Chris’s stuck face
Agent King reached into the prop box and produced a portable television. He announced to the crowd that The Amazing Stuntmen were going to attempt to sit too close to the television for 30 full seconds. King brought the TV out into the audience to prove that it was a working, battery operated unit. He tuned in an NFL football game, and handed the television to the stuntmen. With intense bravery, they put their eyes mere inches away from the screen as King counted down the seconds.
Stunt Number Four: Taking Candy from a Stranger
Agent King asked the audience if their was anyone who had any candy on them. Agent Keech (playing a “crowd person”) raised his hand and reluctantly produced two strawberry Airheads candies. The Amazing Stuntmen slowly approached Keech, their eyes carefully sizing up the danger as they methodically grabbed the candy from his hands. They opened the candy and began to chew carefully as Agent King warned the audience, “Kids, DO NOT try this stunt yourself. These are trained professionals!” Over a minute later, the stuntmen swallowed the last bit of their Airheads and struck the victory pose! They were OK!!
Agent King again reached into the box of props, this time producing a bagel. He handed it to stuntman Charlie and announced to the crowd that Charlie would eat the bagel and then go swimming WITHOUT WAITING THIRTY MINUTES! Stuntman Charlie took a single bite out of the raisin bagel and Stuntman Chris dowsed him with a full cup of water simulating the swimming experience! Although his face was covered with water and his belly was full of bagel, Stuntman Charlie managed to strike the victory pose! He was OK!!!!!
Agent King then informed the crowd the next stunt wouldn’t only risk the lives of The Amazing Stuntmen, but also someone else as well. Stuntman Charlie was going to step directly on a crack, risking serious injury to himself and his mother’s back!!
A concerned crowd member
The Amazing Stuntmen’s final stunt was the deadliest of all! They were going to attempt to eat large amounts of Pop Rocks brand candy and drink Coke at the SAME TIME. This lethal mixture is rumored to have killed the actor who played “Mikey” on the Life Cereal commercials in the late 1970s, and it is a well known fact that stomach explosion is highly likely if these ingredients meet each other.
- Agent Sklaren over hears a French man say (in French): “These Americans call this entertainment? This is terrible!”
- A jazz band performing nearby provides the stuntmen drum rolls before each stunt.
- The manger of the jazz band approaches The Amazing Stuntmen and offers them a gig opening up for the band later that evening:
Band Manager: “You, you guys just do something quick before we come on”
Stuntman Charlie: “Right. We’ll just do a couple of stunts.”
Band Manager: “We only have an hour slot, so just do something that’s 30 secs.”
Stuntman Chris: “Totally. We’ll take ten minutes tops.”