Offshore Gambling

Digital Photography: Agents Sklaren, Demblowski, Brady
DV Cam: Agents Rainswept, Butler
Mission Idea: Agent Brainos
Featuring: Arnheiter, Todd, Rainswept, Flamm, Demblowski, Sklaren, Bulter

 

Nearly eight months after IE introduced New Cheerios and stick-figure caricatures to the unsuspecting Central Park public, agents returned with an even larger mission: offshore gambling. Agents Arnheiter, Flamm, and Todd rented a boat at the Central Park boathouse and hit the water on a warm, sunny afternoon. Arnheiter and Flamm were dressed in tuxedos and Todd was clad in a white dress shirt and black pants. The odd attire alone was attracting odd looks.

People in other boats: You guys coming from a wedding?
Agents: No, we’re high rollers.

The men rowed to a secluded dock on the opposite side of the lake where agents Demblowski, Sklaren, and Rainswept were waiting with contraband. The agents loaded the boat with a large white sign reading “OFFSHORE GAMBLING”, a gambling table, playing cards, poker chips, and a green casino visor. In a matter of moments the Floating Casino was in business.

The Floating Casino sets up near the crowd.Arnheiter donned the dealer’s visor and began setting up the card table as Flamm rowed and Todd held the white sign high in the air.

Agents: Hey you guys over there interested in some gambling?
People on other boats: This is legal?
Agents: Yeah, we’re offshore. International waters.
People on other boats: Don’t you have to be a certain distance offshore?
Agents: Um. We’ve never heard of that.

Folks watching the casino action from the shore.The Floating Casino positioned itself near the patio located on the south side of the lake. From there, the agents were able to talk with people gathered on the shore as well as folks in other boats. The “audience” laughed, took photographs, and asked questions of the agents.

People on the shore: Can we play?
Agents: Not from there, that would be illegal. Hop on a boat and head on over if you want to play.

The agents claimed that the Floating Casino would be making appearances every Sunday in May, and that while they were giving away free poker chips on this day, starting next week the gambling would be for real money.

The Floating Casino floats in international waters.The Floating Casino ended up getting a few boats of customers. Arnheiter and Flamm took turns as the dealer and everyone enjoyed an exciting afternoon of blackjack. Arnheiter kept a gambling rules book handy in case of disputes. Agent Todd gave the group’s mission statement to anyone who was curious, “We’re wanted to take the fun of gambling out of casinos. Casinos are filled with depressing people and too much alcohol. The Floating Casino provides a family gambling atmosphere out in the beautiful sun.”

Three boats gamble together in harmony.Agents Rainswept, Demblowski, and Sklaren arrived in their own boat, docked with the Floating Casino, and joined the fun.

Flamm and Arnheiter wheel and deal.The Floating Casino received no trouble from park officials. The agents made no effort to hide their enterprise from the workers at the boathouse.

Agents: We’re a new company. We’ll be back next week to gamble for real money.
Boat rental workers: Cool.

Apparently, giving out cups of Cheerios is a worse offense than setting up a casino on park property.

Yet another day of organized fun.

Mission Accomplished.