Offshore Gambling

Improv Everywhere Mission

Digital Photography: Agents Sklaren, Demblowski, Brady
DV Cam: Agents Rainswept, Butler
Mission Idea: Agent Brainos
Featuring: Arnheiter, Todd, Rainswept, Flamm, Demblowski, Sklaren, Bulter

Nearly eight months after IE introduced New Cheerios and stick-figure caricatures to the unsuspecting Central Park public, agents returned with an even larger mission: offshore gambling. Agents Arnheiter, Flamm, and Todd rented a boat at the Central Park boathouse and hit the water on a warm, sunny afternoon. Arnheiter and Flamm were dressed in tuxedos and Todd was clad in a white dress shirt and black pants. The odd attire alone was attracting odd looks.

People in other boats: You guys coming from a wedding?
Agents: No, we’re high rollers.

The men rowed to a secluded dock on the opposite side of the lake where agents Demblowski, Sklaren, and Rainswept were waiting with contraband. The agents loaded the boat with a large white sign reading “OFFSHORE GAMBLING”, a gambling table, playing cards, poker chips, and a green casino visor. In a matter of moments the Floating Casino was in business.

Improv Everywhere Mission
The Floating Casino sets up near the crowd.

Arnheiter donned the dealer’s visor and began setting up the card table as Flamm rowed and Todd held the white sign high in the air.

Agents: Hey you guys over there interested in some gambling?
People on other boats: This is legal?
Agents: Yeah, we’re offshore. International waters.
People on other boats: Don’t you have to be a certain distance offshore?
Agents: Um. We’ve never heard of that.

Improv Everywhere Mission
Folks watching the casino action from the shore.

The Floating Casino positioned itself near the patio located on the south side of the lake. From there, the agents were able to talk with people gathered on the shore as well as folks in other boats. The “audience” laughed, took photographs, and asked questions of the agents.

People on the shore: Can we play?
Agents: Not from there, that would be illegal. Hop on a boat and head on over if you want to play.

The agents claimed that the Floating Casino would be making appearances every Sunday in May, and that while they were giving away free poker chips on this day, starting next week the gambling would be for real money.

Improv Everywhere Mission
The Floating Casino floats in international waters.

The Floating Casino ended up getting a few boats of customers. Arnheiter and Flamm took turns as the dealer and everyone enjoyed an exciting afternoon of blackjack. Arnheiter kept a gambling rules book handy in case of disputes. Agent Todd gave the group’s mission statement to anyone who was curious, “We’re wanted to take the fun of gambling out of casinos. Casinos are filled with depressing people and too much alcohol. The Floating Casino provides a family gambling atmosphere out in the beautiful sun.”

Improv Everwhhere Mission
Three boats gamble together in harmony.

Agents Rainswept, Demblowski, and Sklaren arrived in their own boat, docked with the Floating Casino, and joined the fun.

Improv Everwhhere Mission
Flamm and Arnheiter wheel and deal.

The Floating Casino received no trouble from park officials. The agents made no effort to hide their enterprise from the workers at the boathouse.

Agents: We’re a new company. We’ll be back next week to gamble for real money.
Boat rental workers: Cool.

Apparently, giving out cups of Cheerios is a worse offense than setting up a casino on park property.

Yet another day of organized fun.

Mission Accomplished.


Leave a Reply
  1. “Apparently, giving out cups of Cheerios is a worse offense than setting up a casino on park property.”
    Gotta love it! -Jestrada

  2. this one is great, I read ‘offshore gambling,’ clicked the link, saw that picture, and burst out laughing at my office. Hilarious.

  3. "People in other boats: You guys coming from a wedding?
    Agents: No, we’re high rollers. "

    The first thing I thought of was "No ma’am, we’re musicians.".

    Anyway, pretty good mission. The first photo cracks me up.

  4. I find it odd and kind of twisted that you can gamble, but not give away Cheerios. Yet, at the same time, I’m not surprised.

  5. I’ve participated in a few of your shenanigans so far (and will attend many more in the future) and I hadn’t seen this one until I was exploring the website and it occurred to me – I saw you guys!! I was a relative newcomer to the city and took my Floridian mother to Central Park when she came up to visit me. I rummaged around in my picture collection, and sure enough, I took a pic of this hilarious group of people with the “OffShore Gambling” sign – I had almost forgotten. Hilarious!! I can upload the picture if you’d like, Charlie (although, it looks like you captured it well).
    You guys are frickin’ hysterical… keep up the funny.

  6. wow. helluva good idea. of course the cheerios are a worse offense. they’re healthy. so sad i missed this, it looks like it would’ve been a hoot and a half. you guys rock.

  7. how CAN giving out cheerios be a worse offense than this?
    still, it’s impolite to look a gift horse in the mouth.

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